My heart is so heavy with my angst about Chelsea. Today I go back to UT with her to get the biopsy done which did not get done yesterday. Today I will ask them about pain management. She does not feel good. Gone are the days where she stands outside of the bathroom huffing at me to hurry up and get her some food. Eating food is not something she is excited about. Can't blame her with the tumor in her mouth. She doesn't go find her squeak ball to bring to me so I can play with her and try to steal it from her. She doesn't alert bark along with Roxie like she use to. She hurts thus I hurt.
Why does everything have to be about the lack of money??? Why do I have to agonize about what I can do for her to the best of my ability, when I know I am falling short... I cried my eyes swollen shut last night. And for the first time that I can remember Chelsea did not climb into bed with me, instead she slept on the floor next to it. I hope it was just the sedative still in her system. I want my ol' Chelesa back, why can't I have that?
Well time to buck up and dry the tears so I can get my day started and get ready to drive back to Knoxville. Hoping for the best....
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My heart is broken with you. I recently went through something similar with my dog. Each day hurt me more than it hurt her, I think.
Just remember, what you are feeling is caused by how much you love her, and love is a good thing.
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