Today I took Chelsea to UT, to confirm what I already knew, her osteosarcoma has spread, in a rapid fashion. She has a bony mass on the side of her face above her surgical site. It is painful, it is affecting her desire to eat.
I awoke Christmas Eve day and noticed the protrusion. I must have stared at her for 10 minutes straight trying to see if it was really there or part of her muscle atrophy, or my imagination. It was really there. I called my local vet's office and they were closed, called UT and they had a skeleton staff, but the student I spoke to did check on how much pain medicine I could give Chelsea. Christmas was quiet, I was home with my furkids, thankful that I still had my heart dog of 10 years with me.
For the last 10 years, Chelsea has been the ONE constant in my life. She has been a rock I could lean on when there was nothing else to hold me up. This has been especially true since I moved to TN. She has been my very best friend, albeit the furry kind.
Today at UT, the oncologist said she was such a good girl. Always happy to see everyone in the back exam room and so good for all the poking and prodding. (It doesn't hurt that Dr Flood knew how to give Chelsea her favorite bum scritches.) The holistic vet said Chelsea has always maintained her dignity, and I was a part of that. She took everything in stride and has coped really well with this terrible disease. I could use a lesson there....
Now, I am taking it one moment at a time. Helping her eat, letting her play as she wants to, giving her pain meds and loving on her every moment that I can. She is a grand ol' dame and has been a true blessing in my life.
My heart feels like it is going to break knowing I will be saying good bye soon.
The picture is from today as she patiently waited for me to shop in Knoxville (picking up some deli meats for her).
3 comments:
My heart breaks with you... I just went through something similar this summer with my wonderful dog.
So sorry to hear that Kathy. Let me know if there is anything I can do. I know it's never easy, no matter how much time we have to prepare. You are both in our thoughts and prayers. Give Chelsea a big hug and kiss from her Aunt Donna.
Dear Kathy, you have such a big heart! Yes it means it hurts big when it's breaking but it also means it gives big when it's feeling whole and radiant. Be sure to give some of your heartfulness to yourself! Sending heart hugs and anything else you could use for support. Lasell
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